How to simply stop caring about other people’s judgments

Say you’re in line for the cashier at a grocery store.

You patiently wait your turn like everybody else. Eventually, it’s your turn. You say hello to the cashier as they scan your items.

After all the scanning, the cashier tells you the total amount. So you go get your credit card. However, you can’t find it. You check your wallet, not there. You check your pockets, still not there.

You take a look behind you and you feel the judgemental eyes beaming on you from the people in line. You keep rechecking your pockets and wallet hoping to find your credit card. Time is ticking but it feels like an eternity. You take a look at the cashier and they are judging you as well.

Then out of the blue, the cashier says ‘Take your broke ass out of my line and never show yourself here again!

Photo by on Unsplash

Okay, that story is a bit exaggerated, but it does hold some truth.

Whenever we are under pressure and failing some small task, we feel people judging us.

We get into this negative cycle where we start imaging the things others are saying. I.e. this person is dumb, this person is slow, this person is wasting my time.

Trust me, I’ve been there and thought those exact things.

But over time, I started to realize that caring about other people’s judgment is a waste of time.

Why would I care about someone judging me if they are not helping me in any manner?

For example, when I park my car in the parkade, I like to reverse into my spot. And sometimes, I hold up a person while doing this.

For many people, they would feel the judgment of the other driver and then feel the pressure to hurry up. Which funny enough, makes it even more stressful.

The way I am able to overcome this and not care about the other driver is to remind myself that he/she won’t help me pay for any damages to my car. So, therefore, I take whatever time I need to get it done.

Now, it might seem I’m being a jerk.

But the thing is I have to focus on my current tasks and ensure I do them successfully.

And sometimes this might annoy people.

But it’s better to annoy people than pay for damages that were preventable.

So whenever you feel like you are being judged by someone else, just ask yourself if the person doing all the judging will help you if something goes wrong.

And if you’re being honest, the answer is most likely no.

In our short life, we can’t worry about all the people judging us. That should be reserved for people who truly care about us and who have our best interests at heart.

We only have so much mental energy in the day.

So we have to be selective with where we put it.

Anyways, that’s it for tonight.

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Bulcha (The Charismatic Nerd)

Here to help nerds, geeks, and second-generation immigrant peeps streamline their self-improvement. Get my self-improvement cheat sheet at